Naughty bicycles to be removed

I have recently been to a meeting in the West End and found a notice on the railings outside the building where the meeting was due. The notice read that bicycles chained up there would be removed without notice (additional artwork not by me). I'm sure this is a common sight in London and elsewhere.

I am always amused by authorities apparently believing that bicycles have been parachuted into London by aliens deliberately spoiling our city and we have to tidy them up. The idea that normal people are actually using them and that this sudden desire for tidy streets doesn't seem to extend to rubbish, vans, taxis, motorbikes or bill boards in quite the same way doesn't seem to cross their minds.
I'm sure somebody decided in a meeting that these signs have to be put up and I wish I could be a fly on the wall at such a meeting. I imagine it would go something like this:

Chair: "Next item on the agenda is illegal and dangerous use of our property by bicycles. This item was put forward by our Health & Safety officer."

H&S officer: [after a monologue about how cyclists are all law breakers and therefore they need to be made to wear helmets, their bicycles should have number plates, all cyclists need to have a weekly test and anyway they don't pay road tax.] "Yes I noticed the other day that somebody was almost inconvenienced by a rogue bicycle parked at our railings. They might not be so lucky next time. So I thought something must be done about it before somebody gets hurt. The only way to deal with this effectively is by preventing the situation occurring in the first place. I therefore propose a ban."

Chair: "This is very observant and considerate of you. I always wondered who would pay if the railings were damaged. Would this not come out of our maintenance budget? Our finance officer can probably tell us what our maintenance budget currently is."

Finance officer: "The maintenance budget for all our buildings is about £4.5 million. This would include painting the railings every 15 years. I could give you a detailed breakdown in the next few days."

Chair: "That won't be necessary. This is urgent and we need to make a decision today."

Conservation officer: "We shouldn't forget that these rogue bicycles spoil our lovely building. It's not listed but somebody said once they quite like it - I think."

Chair: "So these rogue bicycles are a safety hazard, cost us millions and are a blight on the landscape. Does anybody object to banning dangerous and illegal bicycles?"

Sustainability officer: [via tele conference line] "Shouldn't we get in touch with the Council first to get them to provide some on street cycle parking. It seems there is demand."

H&S officer: "Sorry, we can't really hear you. You are breaking up. Shame you can't be with us today"

Chair: So we agree for a notice to go up and bikes to be removed immediately. Next item on the agenda: Staff car parking subsidies to rise in line with inflation...